Telescope stories V

And so I'm back.

How can I describe the emotions in the couple of days leading up to me leaving? During my trip away, I had had some concerns about a lump in my mouth that my doctor had said should disappear in 7 - 10 days (i.e. just before I left for Chile), but that was still there when I had gone away.

At the time I had pushed thoughts of the lump to the back of my mind. Two extra weeks shouldn't make much of a difference even if it needed investigating, right? Enjoy the experience of being in Chile; nothing you can do about it until you get back to the UK, so don't worry.

By and large I had succeeded in maintaining this state of mind. Nevertheless, at my weak moments while away, thoughts of the lump had returned, and it's presence had remained as a shadow in the back of my mind.

Two days away from leaving, and the prospect of having to address the issue of the lump suddenly became something I had to actively consider. At the same time, however, the thought of once more seeing my parents and friends was also at the fore of my mind, as though up until then I had hidden how much I missed them all.

And yet, while driving back down from the telescope site, with the Sun dipping low on the horizon, turning the scrub around us golden and throwing the mountains into sharp and dramatic relief, I was aware that I had to savour this sight; to drink it in as much as possible before I left, and to experience the moment without focusing too much on what was to come. After all - how often was I likely to be in an environment such as that?

But despite this resolve, before long I was leaving. The bus trip back to Calama airport early in the morning; the sight of the rising Sun throwing the Andes into hazy shades of pastel colour; the landing in Antofogasta - even dustier and remote-feeling than Calama - the 9 hour wait in Santiago airport, and, eventually, finding myself back in Toronto waiting for the flight back to the UK.

The UK. Strange: I've always been a bit dismissive of our country, and yet there is little doubt that both times I have returned from Chile, I have found myself looking forward intensely to being back on British soil. Not necessarily that I specifically wanted to leave Chile; but somehow returning to the UK felt comforting, like returning home allowed me to acknowledge a liking for our country (despite it's faults) that I usually disguise.

One thing that definitely does stand out is how green the UK is. After spending almost three weeks away, most of it in an environment where the dominant colours in the landscape were orange, yellow and brown, the UK suddenly seems an oasis of vegetation.

And Cardiff! How strange to be walking back down the familiar streets; to see things that once were mundane but which now I realise to be special, and for no-one to know where I've been and what I've been doing and how different it all was to this. How many of the other people walking down the streets have similar stories to tell? Stories that I may never hear.

And once reunions with loved ones is complete, and I have slipped back into life in the UK once more, Chile will, once more, seem a long way away. I guess, however, it will always be there - the experience of being away an indellible mark on my history. I'd like to return one day, but it looks as though the reciever is being moved to Mexico, so it may have to be on my own initiative next time.

As for the lump? It turned out only to be a wisdom tooth coming through - the one on the other side of my mouth is in a place I can't reach with my tongue. If you have any problems with your mouth, I advise going to the dentist rather than the doctor...